I know this isn’t exactly gender exclusive but I’m pretty sure women started it, and have perfected it throughout history.
Example 1: Eve
Whilst bickering with Adam over her eating of the apple and damning all man kind, God “just happens” to show up and banish her from Eden. C’mon he just decided that was a good time to commence the banishment. They were in cahoots, God was just trying to get her out of that jam.
Example 2: Harriet Tubman
Do you really expect me to believe this was just about slavery. She was using songs, telegraphs, and the like to get the heck out of there. Escaping the south? More like escaping all the lame southern dudes.
Example 3: Jackie O
Oh yeah, I’m saying it. Jackie O was behind the whole thing. Jack Ruby? Lee Harvey Oswald? C’mon conspiracy theorists…aim a little higher. Jackie O was the mastermind behind that one. And why shouldn’t she be? Her husband was a hot-shot playboy AND president to boot. He could have Marilyn or any other lady he wanted…does this a good husband make? And we’ve all learned how tough and frowned upon divorce was back in those days (thank you Mad Men). Sure, she’s a national treasure, but part of that is her bravery and spirit in the face of her husband’s death. That was the ultimate excuse for her to get any situation, all she had to do is act choked up, she didn’t even have to say, “Oh I’m sorry, my husband was shot…” Because everybody already knew where they were when this happened and she had all of our sympathies.
Dude. Like Adam had a thing to say about the eating of the apple. He just stood there and watched her eat it, doing nothing more than standing there scratching his balls and saying nada. Set one hell of a precedent for all future heterosexual couples!
The Harriet Tubman thing, though? I don’t doubt it.
So I shouldn’t mention Eve being tempted by the “Snake” to eat a “forbidden fruit”